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Monday, March 7, 2016

Divorce ~ You Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Children

This is a topic that really makes my blood boil! Having been married and divorced not once but twice, I get the fact that sometimes relationships just don't workout. Sometimes divorce seems like the only good solution to the problem and so it goes. That's all well and good but what I feel is unexceptionable is when there are children involved and the non custodial parent thinks that they can just divorce the children along with the spouse.

Marriage isn't always easy and divorce can be even harder to deal with due to the feelings that arise with it. When you have children and choose to divorce, those children are still your children. No matter where you live, near or far. No matter how you feel about your "Ex", you still have an obligation to those children. You owe them the love and support that you would have provided had you stayed in a relationship with your "Ex". The children should not have to suffer due to the decisions that their parents made.

Being responsible is part of being an adult, you have to set aside your feelings, wants and needs and take care of your responsibilities to your child/children. For those who pay child support, that's all well and good but it can't stop there. You need to be there for them physically and emotionally. You need to support them through there struggles and there accomplishments. You need to let them know that they still matter, that you still love them no matter what. You still need to make memories with your children just as you would have had you not gotten divorced. Just because you live in a separate home doesn't mean that you can't take the kids fishing or go to the park with them. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't attend their dance recital or their school play. The children still need both parents to love and support them.

What happens when the non custodial has little or no interest or interaction with the children? I can tell you... The child becomes sad and depressed, they become angry, they have poor self esteem, their grades drop, they have trouble making and keeping friends. They are more likely to become another statistic with mental health issues because no matter what anyone tells them, they will always think there was something wrong with them that made the non custodial parent want nothing to do with them.

So your marriage may not be "Until death do us part" but your obligation to your children is!

This is just one of those post that I felt the need to write because I see this happen all to often.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Leave a comment and stop by again.

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